Douglas, that's a problem that can't be solved easily. The best answer I
can give is simply to enjoy each game for what you get from it, and know
that those who rely on a computer to win are cheating themselves.
Also, playing variants helps (yes, I know that you're still new to regular
chess), because many of the programs available are a lot weaker.
Next, don't always trust everything you hear over IM--I've seen my share
of false accusations in my time.
Finally, over time you can find opponents you can trust.
Good luck to you!
Glenn Overby
CVP Competitions Editor